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Spork in the Road

28 April 1987
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I'm an English literature student and unabashed geek with a view to working in a library someday. I have one boyfriend, two parents, three brothers, two grandparents, three aunts, four uncles, eleven cousins, a handful of great aunts and uncles and second cousins and the like, and no pets, though my second brother has obtained a tank of tropical fish.

There are a few unusual truths I learned during high school, mostly in the theatre department, that are not widely known. Five is not a constant number, so everything that follows it is in turn inconstant, which may explain the phenomenon of how 1+1 can equal either 3 or 5 at any given time-- although it usually just equals fork. Murphy is not to be blamed for this, though in my experience everything else that goes wrong is usually his responsibility. Especially if you invoke him by saying something like, 'I don't need my umbrella, it's not going to rain today.' Then you're just asking for it. Murphy is not, however, responsible for whatever may happen if you say Macbeth in a theatre. All furniture that collapses onstage is on your own head-- well, not literally. If you're lucky.